Monday, October 23, 2006

FRUSTRATIONS…

I am a frustration..

From the day I was born, I already was a frustration to my parents. My family seems to be a perfect family before I was born. I have a sister, the first born child in our family. Followed by three sons, unfortunately she have to leave the world, she was taken by God’s hand and she really have to leave. That time, my parents decided to have another kid, hoping that it could be a girl. My mom got pregnant. By that time, ultrasound is out of the technology yet. So they do not know whether I am a boy or a girl. After nine months in my mom’s womb, I saw the earth, and they all got frustrated coz what they saw is a small hanging muscle between my legs. I dunno how frustrated they were that time, if there could only be means on knowing what my gender was, I could have been aborted. They even have a name prepared if I were a girl. Unfortunately, what came out is a bastard baby boy. After 6 years with my family, I got sick. I was anemic, I’ve undergone blood transfusion, bone marrow operation. I could have killed if it wasn’t discovered earlier. It might have turned to leukemia. It cost them too much for the hospitalization. I really feel guilty.

Years had passed, and I was about to graduate high school. And I really wanted to be a pharmacist or accountant. But my mom insisted to take an Engineering degree. I can’t do anything just to follow. I don’t have the right to abide on what they want. I have to follow what they want. I took an entrance examination oi this University in Baguio City. Luckily I passed. After five years, I flanked, I decided not to go to school anymore and I wanted to have a job. I failed to give them what they want. I wasn’t able to give them the Diploma that they wanted to receive unlike my three siblings. I was bum for two months. And on the net I submitted my resume online, and luckily I found a job. This is where I am right now. My first job and I have been here for two years and three months. I still haven’t decided if I would continue my degree on the same university. I really wanted to finish the degree they wanted me to take. I want to prove them that I am not a frustration; I want them to see my worth… my worth that nobody seems to notice... Not even a glance…

Posted by -Paulo- :: 10:13 AM :: 0 Comments:

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